Friend Vs Family Member Essay

Everyone dreams to have a dear companion. Some find the companionship with the family members. Some find it with friends. There are needs and wants that only a family member or a friend could give. For example, you are in need money or other material things, your family will be the first ones to provide it for you. In addition to that , your family is in charge in the preparation of your meal,household management and the like. When you need someone to talk to and your parents are busy working and your brothers and sisters are busy with studying or doing other things, it is a friend that you should call. Friends, outside of family bonds, can be our greatest comfort and allies. When it comes to keeping a secret, it is the job of a friend. Friends accept us for who we are. They listen when we need someone to talk to. They share the same interest and they are not afraid to tell what’s on their mind. Most of the times, we cannot share the secret to the other members of the family because they might react negatively on that matter. It is best to keep it with friends. Friends help us to adjust in a different environment just like in school. According to a study done by Buote, results indicated a significant positive relation between quality of new friendships and adjustment to university; this association was stronger for students living in residence than for those commuting to university. The interview data provided insight into the processes through which the relation between quality of new friendships and adjustment occurs. Results are discussed in terms of the importance of new friendships in helping individuals to adjust to a new social environment. Friends may also help you live longer than your family. According to the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health, researchers suspect that friends may influence people to engage in more healthy behavior, such as not smoking or not drinking too much; friends may also help boost people’s self-esteem. Close friends may get the â€Å"longevity nod† because they are islands of love outside of the bickering, resentments and subtle abuses that occur all too often within many families. On the other hand,there are characteristics that only a family member can do and have. A person is connected to a family member through blood and relation. Accidents may happen and a donor closest to your preferences are your family. You could also solve a family problem like being scolded by constantly communicating with your family. Through communication we can correct bad behavior and internalize rules of good behavior within the family. By the time we are born, our family is with us. Our parents and the other family members guide us through our helplessness as a baby and continuously provides things and advices so that we will be resilient when we reach adulthood. Sometimes, a person can be a family member and a friend to someone. For example,our brothers or sisters often are our most intimate friends. You grew in the same environment , share the same sentiments and interests and you rely on each other when big challenges come. Friends and family members help in the formation of the character of an individual. We are introduced and acquainted with values from our family members and we experience it, learn it and acquire it with friends. According to psychoanalysts,Miss Neumann and Dr. Myerson , in the personality development of the child, the family is perhaps the most important shaping influence. It is of course only one element of the social heritage, only one of a number of groups that influence the child; the school and the play groups are also very important. But the family is first in point of time and, during the more plastic and impressionable ears of child life, provides almost the only stimulations and patterns to which he is exposed. Understanding the importance of the strength of family, and strong relationships, can be a critical tool for youth as they emerge as a good citizen through some of the most influential years of their lives. When the children receive support and understanding from the family members, it will help a lot in his character formation. Moreover,the need for friends continued as they we grew into teenagers and began to find our own identities. Friends were a big part of forming our personalities and supporting who we had become. We cannot choose the members of the family. They are with us when we have nothing and continues to give us everything. Sometimes, we just don’t see their sacrifices for us. We can definitely choose our friends, they are our mirrors. We can determine whom is more important not on being here all the time but who is present when fate decrees your crises. Will your friends stay with you? Or your family? They are put to a test and only you can decide who wins your heart. Works Cited Buote, Vanessa et al. â€Å"The Importance of Friends: Friendship and Adjustment Among 1st- Year University Students†. Journal of Adolescent Research. 2007; 22: 665-689. Cochran, M. , ed. Personal Social Networks as a Focus of Support. In D. O. Unger and D. R. Powell, eds. , Families as Nurturing Systems: Support across a Lifespan. Binghampton, N. Y. :The Haworth Press. 1991. 45-67. Mercola, Joseph. â€Å"Friends May Help You Live Longer Than Family†. Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health. July 2005; 59(7):574-9. Radun, Lori. â€Å"Importance of Family Rules in Developing Child Self Esteem†. < http://ezinearticles. com/> Runner, Jessie R. The Family: Source Materials for the Study of Family and Personality. New York:McGraw-Hill,1931. 73.